The phone rang in my office at 8:01 a.m. I didn’t even have a cup of coffee yet. That wasn’t unusual. In the brokerage business, things got started early and moved fast. I recognized the number immediately. It was my largest account, which usually meant one of two things. Either somebody needed my help, or I had a problem. Quite often, those were the same thing. I picked up the phone and answered in the clipped, professional tone we were expected to use. “Joe Hobby.” It wa

There are two things you can be reasonably certain you will have in a Southern church - an altar call and a covered dish meal. And when it comes to the covered dish, there are certain foods that will most certainly be served. Like macaroni and cheese. The odds of seeing that on the buffet table are about the same as seeing beer in a fraternity house. There will probably be two or three versions of it. And while all of it is technically called the same thing, there can be a

Hoo boy—my wife thinks I’m involved with somebody else. And she’s right. I’ll be honest. I’ve tried to keep it from her, but since she figured it out, I might as well come clean to all y’all. I’m in a relationship with ChatGPT. It all began like so many of these things do. My wife was uninterested in my work, despite my best efforts to involve her. When I was editing my book, I would ask her how a particular paragraph sounded, or if there was a better way to write a sentence.

There may be prettier sights in the world, but I haven’t seen them. I’m not a world traveler, but I have seen some things in this country that I consider absolutely gorgeous. I stood in awe at the Grand Canyon. I was in disbelief the first time I saw the Big Sur along the California coast below Carmel. And I still count myself fortunate whenever I look out over a sunset at those perfect beaches in Gulf Shores. But if I had to rank them for beauty, Lake Louise in the Canadian

I would guess most kids growing up today wouldn’t want anything that their parents had. We had three channels. They have about 300. We barely had black and white TV. They have color and high def. We had one home phone that was tethered to the wall with a cord. They have one on their wrist that goes anywhere. But, we had one thing that I’m sure much of this generation is missing out on: the drive-in movie. What a wonderful thing it was, watching a motion picture under a star

I still remember when my son gingerly placed my first newborn granddaughter in my arms. Well…he tried to. Just as I reached out to hold her, a woman in a business suit with a clipboard stepped between me and the newest member of my family. “Before you take possession of your grandchild, you’ll need to review and sign this.” “Sign? What am I signing?” I asked. “This is a baby, not an extended warranty on a Buick.” “The Grandparent Contract. Standard procedure. Makes things

Earlier this year, I went on a music cruise featuring many of the bands from the ’60s and ’70s - the music I love. It was a cruise where both the audience and the bands remember watching The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show. In fact, quite a few of the performers on the boat were on that show too. One of those groups was The Rascals, a favorite of mine. And we had front-row seats. When Felix Cavaliere, the 80 year-old lead singer, began belting out “Good Lovin’,” a strange fee

I’ve had a booth in an antique mall for several years. I use it to make a few extra bucks and, more importantly, justify my basement being such a mess. There’s a woman who works there named Magan. I’ve never asked her age, but I suspect she’s in her early-40s. She’s cute as a bug and always has a smile that suggests mischief, like somebody who just did something and got away with it. For all the years I’ve been at the antique mall, Magan and I have had a friendly, but not ove

We started cleaning out our basement the other day, and I quickly realized this wasn’t going to be a Saturday afternoon project. It was more like a long term archaeological dig, complete with dirt, dust, and relics from a long lost civilization, circa 1987. Our basement has become the official storage unit for everything we couldn’t part with: toys (old and new), tools (useful and otherwise), gas cans, car parts, Christmas decorations, quilts, and boxes labeled “Important

The floor lights splashed the dim stage in a harsh white glow. Taking their cue, musicians walked out, picked up their instruments and, without a word, launched themselves into a song. Instantly, the auditorium was filled with what some people called music. Guitars blared. Drums pounded. Vocals, boosted by the miracle of modern amplification, fought a losing battle against the wall of sound. It was like listening to the soundtrack of a Beavis and Butt-Head marathon. At center

My youngest son is thinking about taking his girls to Disney. At last! I have waited patiently for years for him to have children and take them to the land of the mouse. Finally, revenge will be mine. I’ve been to Disney a couple of times, but it’s been a little while. And from what I hear, a lot of things have changed. They like to call it the Magic Kingdom now. That’s an appropriate name. It’s magic all right. Once you get inside the gates hundreds of dollars start van

It’s the sound more than the smell that takes me back. Not a loud sizzle like bacon, but quieter, softer. As a kid, when I heard a low hiss from a cast-iron skillet, I knew what it meant: supper was going to be hot dogs. Hot dogs - also known as tube steaks, franks, weenies, or coneys, is a food that’s so deeply American we practically wrap them in the flag and give them a seat of honor at every Fourth of July barbecue. It’s hard to believe the hot dog, which we rank right u

It began innocently enough. Most bad things do. Nobody ever says, “Hey, I’m let’s go to the bowling alley and see if you can suffer an injury in front of your grandchildren.” But there I was, standing under the glow of fluorescent lights and the smell of rented shoes, about to learn yet another important lesson about aging. It wasn’t my intent. I had just stopped by because I knew my son was at the bowling alley with three of my granddaughters. I decided to make a surprise gu

There are moments in life when the distance between an ordinary day and tragedy is measured in inches. I’ve thought about that a lot today - with good reason. Yesterday started out as a good day, even though it centered around a funeral home. My wife Carol, my oldest son Matt, and I had gone to pay our respects to the family of lifelong friends. As strange as it sounds, it turned into one of those bittersweet gatherings that reminds you how deeply connected your life is to o

I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a long time, in fact, it’s been years. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not looking forward to it. Apparently, the situation requires it, and I don’t have a choice. I’m going to wear a suit and tie. We received a last-minute invitation to a hoity-toity charity event that contained two words which chilled me to the bone: “cocktail attire.” So, after about ten years, it’s finally caught up with me: I must don a suit and tie. Un

“Hey, I got a good ideer! Instead of going to Sunday school, let’s sneak behind the church and smoke cigarettes.” Eventually, grandparents come to understand that entertaining the grandkids isn’t optional - it’s mandatory. Somewhere between their first juice box and their first chicken finger, you either become interesting… or you become invisible. That’s why I invented Nipper. Nipper is a character birthed from my fertile imagination - an irritating hand puppet without a pup

As if by magic, he pulled a folded one-hundred-dollar bill out of a pile of gray lint. “Look what I found,” he said, waving it in the air with a flourish. My wife and I stared at him the same way we did when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. You know the look - mouth slightly open, eyes fixed, brain scrambling to processes what the eyes have just seen. Talk about money laundering. It’s a rare day indeed when an appliance repairman comes to make a servi

Every boy needs a hero. And if he doesn’t, he should. Heroes prove that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. They show what strength and courage look like. Whether real or fictional, a hero gives every boy something essential. Growing up, my hero was the same as thousands of other kids in the South: Alabama football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant . Bryant was almost as much myth as man. One of his players once said, “This is what God must look like.” And he wasn’t wrong. St

I walked about seventy-five yards from the visitor center, stepped to the railing, looked both ways, and I gawked. I’m not a big gawker. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I gawked. But the Grand Canyon will do that to you. It isn’t something you merely see. It’s something you behold. It is truly awesome. Which got me thinking about the word awesome. It may be the most abused word in the English language. It applies to the Grand Canyon and the Golden Gate Bridge. It does

There’s a specific time of year when I don’t need a calendar to know what day it is. All I have to do is pull into the YMCA parking lot and take a look around. Almost every space is filled. Just a week earlier, I could have parked anywhere I wanted, diagonal, sideways, maybe even backing in a space if I was feeling frisky. Now I’m circling like a buzzard over roadkill, hoping someone finishes their workout before I finish my patience. Once inside, the evidence becomes ove